Shakespeare in Thumbish

J/W 2B or not 2B? BTHOOM;
IDK IIMAD MEGO. Head’s FURTB. WIM.
Life’s MUBAR. TAR*U TRDMC;
LABATYD. TSNF.
DWBH CTA NVNG.
EOL ::poof:: GNSD.
NG FF & PN;
G4I.

Hamlet Act III, Scene i, lines 56-64.

This is a sample of how the Bard might have written this portion of the famous soliloquy if he was twenty-something texting to his friends.

For a translation see http://www.netlingo.com/emailsh.cfm

* Many of the chat acronyms and text message shorthand phrases include crude language. Some are included but I have omitted a letter I find totally unacceptable.