Let's Shop!

                                                                        Let’s Shop!

It’s less than a hundred days until Christmas and high time you started planning your gift lists.  Catalogs are arriving daily, making choosing the right gift for friends and family more difficult with each mail delivery.  I will help you. Here’s a partial list of what has attracted my attention as either “Cool” or “OMG!”

Hubby is at the top of my list.  Edumnd Scientifics (scientificsonline.com) features “The Wizard’s Wand Universal Remote” a must have for your favorite guy. The vibrating wand can be programmed for 13 commands that will control all your home entertainment systems. Wizard hat not included. Smithsonian (smithsonianstore.org) has a cool book, In the Cockpit: Inside 50 History Making Aircraft that enables the reader to get behind the controls of “groundbreaking domestic and military airplanes, jets, and helicopters” with incredible photos and textual explanations.  BasBleu (www.basbleu.com) offers Twelve Days of Christmas Regulation Golf Balls for the festive husband-athlete. The Paragon (www.theparagon.com) can spruce up the outdoor guy’s auto with a set of Car mats that resemble tree bark or river stones.  Finally American Science&Surplus (www.sciplus.com) can spiff him up with a red German Military Beret, slightly used and made to fit snugly. Used?

Pets are family too.  There are a plethora of Warm Coats and Sumptuous Beds—from an army style cot to four poster—for the dog in your life available from Harriet Carter (www.harrietcarter.com).  I must confess that I do worry about some of the offerings for cats. There are cat toys that seem a bit sadistic, but I am not now nor have I ever been a cat owner, so maybe they like stuff like this:  Harriet Carter’s Electronic Cat and Mouse Chase is a battery operated toy with motion sensor that detects your cat’s presence causing a mouse to race around the track so that the cat can see the mouse, but can never catch it. Acorn (acornonline.com) has the Fling-ama-String Cat Toy that you hang on a door nob, enabling kitty to stalk, pounce and leap for it, while never quite succeeding. It is battery operated with two speeds.  Why cats are considered superior to dogs I will never know, but the following from both Young Explorers (YoungExplorers.com) and Mindware (www.mindware.com) reflect that inequity with the Pet Science Dog School (read remedial) and the Pet Science Kitty College products that challenge dogs to problem solve (?) and obey commands while the  little kitties can improve their memories and fine motor skills…  You can determine your dog’s IQ with BasBleu’s book How Smart is your Dog?  (No refunds on that one, I suspect!) Of course the Mensa-eligible cats get a book too:  Why Cat’s Paint from The Paragon.

Grab Bag Gifts are always tricky, especially when the exchange group is at work or your in-law’s holiday gift exchange.  Fear not, be the first to give the Solar Powered Waving Queen from Collectibles Direct (www.collectablesdirect.com) a source for all things British. Imagine the fun everyone will have to see Queen Elizabeth II giving a dignified royal wave. Head moving Corgi sold separately.  The same company also offers two sound machines, Cartoon Classics that will have you rolling in the aisles with sounds like the banging of a head, falling down stairs, and gunshots. Applause will provide your favorite narcissistic with hours of clapping, laughing, drum rolls. Keep this one in mind if you draw your boss’s name.  If you want something a bit more dignified consider these two products from American Science&Surplus:  Wind-up Walking Teeth (with legs) will bring a smile to your “secret Santa” friend.  No office should be without the Screaming Parachute Monkey.  Be sure the boss is out of the office before you launch this baby into the cubicles, sling-shot style. The pièce de résistance is Edmund Scientifics’ Hand Runner. Imagine a fully operational severed hand crawling up you walls, walking across the ceiling or the kitchen table. AND it comes with a comic book!

Enough suggestions for now.  Coming soon, gift ideas for the lady in you life, the home, and, of course, the kids.  There may be some overlap between toys for kids and items for hubby in case you haven’t quite settled on what to get for your better half.  Watch this space for more!

NOTE:  Caveat emptor!  Although I have purchased different items from most—but not all—of the companies mentioned I have no relationship with any of them except as a customer who has been generally satisfied with her purchases. I can make no claims on the quality of any of the items mentioned above; I make no profit if you purchase anything.  There are many nice products featured in these catalogs—some I really like—that I have not mentioned.  Visit the company websites if you’re curious.  The items I have featured should not be regarded as a recommendation of either the item or the company. I gain nothing if you decide you wish to do business with any company. My list is intended to be fun.

Quiz Time: Lines that United

A nation’s people should have common cultural bonds that unite a diverse citizenry.  In the past Americans had a corpus of poems, music, quotes, and fundamental historical documents they easily recognized and could often recite by heart.  This common bond contributed to the mortar that cemented an American self-image.  Below find parts of poems, songs, quotations and documents from our American heritage. Words or entire lines have been omitted. Can you fill in the blanks?  [Rating: fairly easy]

1   1)  The Preamble of the U. S. Constitution:  We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, ___?_____promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

2   2)  First stanza of Walt Whitman’s “O Captain! My Captain!”

O Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip is done,

The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

            ______________?___________ (four lines)

3   3)  Theodore Roosevelt:  “In life, as in a football game, the principle to follow is:____?____

4   4)  Mark Twain:  “Man is the only animal that blushes. ______?______

5   5)  Abraham Lincoln: Complete the first paragraph/sentence of the Gettysburg Address: Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, _______?________

6   6)  In his “First Annual Address” to Congress, George Washington said:  To be prepared for war is _______?_________.

7   7)   Finish the first verse of the cowboy song, “Streets of Laredo”

As I walked out in the Streets of Laredo

As I walked out in Laredo one day,

I spied a young cowboy,________?______ (one and a half lines)

8   8)   Complete the first verse of Joseph Brackett, Jr.’s “Simple Gifts”

‘Tis the gift to be simple,

“Tis the gift to be free,

“Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

_______?_________(last two lines)

9   9)   Complete this famous sentence from the first paragraph of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech:  “…I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where ______?_____

1  10)  Emma Lazarus penned these words:

 “…Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

______?_________(last two lines; extra credit if you know the title of her poem)

1  11)  Finish the last line of the first verse of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “Concord Hymn”

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,

   Their flag to April’s breeze unfurled,

Here once the embattled farmers stood,

   _______?_________

1  12)  What is the first line of this Carl Sandburg poem with the rest of the first verse quoted?

_________?__________

Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,

Player with Railroads and the Nation’s Freight Handler;

City of Big Shoulders:   (deduct 10 points if you think the title is “New York”)

1  13)   Fill in the blanks on verse one of Katharine Lee Bates’ “America the Beautiful”

O beautiful for spacious skies,

   For amber waves of grain,

_________?_________

   Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

   God shed his grace on thee

________?__________

________?__________

1  14)   Complete the lines missing from the song “On a Bicycle Built for Two”

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

I’m half crazy, all for the love of you

It won’t be a stylish marriage,

_______?________ (last three lines)

1  15)   Finally, complete the missing words/lines in the song, “That Old Gang of Mine.”

Gee, but, I’d give the world to see

That old gang of mine

I can’t forget that old quartet

That sang “_____?________”

Goodbye forever old fellows and gals

_________?___________

(_________?__________)

Gee, but I’d give the world to see

That old gang of mine.  (And if you can sing this one, you’re older than I!)

Answers: 1) …establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense…

2) But O heart! heart! heart!

            O bleeding drops of red,

                        Where on the deck my Captain lies,

                                    Fallen cold and dead.

3)  Hit the line hard.  4) Or needs to.  5) …conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.   6) …one of the most effective means of preserving peace.

7) …all wrapped in white linen

            Wrapped up in white linen and cold as the clay.

8)…And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

            It will be in the valley of love and delight.

9) …they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

10) Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me.

            I lift my lamp beside the golden door.    [Title:  "The New Colossus"]

11) And fired the shot heard ‘round the world.     12) Hog Butcher for the World

13)  For purple mountain majesties…

            And crown thy good with brotherhood

                        From sea to shining sea!

14) I can’t afford a carriage.

            But you’ll look sweet upon the seat

            On a bicycle built for two

15)…“Sweet Adeline”…Goodbye forever old sweethearts and pals

(God bless them!)

And you too!

To Be Read

Gosh, I wish the world weren’t so darn interesting!  Just today I discovered an incredible resource for Celtic literature, some of it translated from Irish, Latin, French, and other languages. Oh, I’m not going to tell you what is because this is not really the topic I want to discuss. It is just another symptom…

A week ago I read an article by John Warner as The Biblioracle. Mr. Warner confessed to owning more than 75 books he had not yet read, “a good 13-month backlog if I were to not buy a single book until I cleared it…”  The chances of Mr. Warner, or my, not buying any books until our backlog was cleared are slim to none!

The Oracle discussed the reasons why he always has a backlog.  He lists books that “should have been read by now” which are often from the classics or from literary masters. He includes books that the publishing world is talking and writing about as well as freebies, gift books, and intellectual self-improvement titles. Mr. Warner claims some books as “contingency” titles that he might need sometime in the future. Finally he includes spiritual classics whatever those might be. To him the to be read (TBR) “pile is a statement of hope, of best intentions.”  Ahem, and we all know which road best intentions pave.

The Biblioracle’s predicament is my own, and hopefully many of yours too.  His column prompted me to think about my TBRs which, I must confess, outnumber his.  I cannot conceive of living in a space without books. His column prompted me to mentally compartmentalize my own TBR hoard.  I attempt to justify my Contingency Reading Cache because 1) I’m a librarian who needs to be around books; 2) I view books somewhat differently from the average reader—I use them differently—which means I may not want to read the entire book but may need it for references purposes; 3) I have a great many diverse research interests which demand continuous replenishment. Like the squirrel storing up nuts for the winter, I cache TBRs that might fulfill future needs as well as anticipated pleasures.  I would starve to death intellectually in a winter of booklessness.

Like Mr. Warner I Duty Reads, those books I should have read. Although my sense of “duty” has changed somewhat now that I do not work regularly I still feel that I have a responsibility to read genre outside my comfort zone. William Gibson’s Pattern Recognition is an example. Because I have a very large research collection on Irish and Celtic culture, I feel there should be some books by and about Italians and Italian-Americans. Blood Washes Blood by Frank Viviano and Tony Romano’s If You Eat, You Never Die await my attention. Literary books are expected to be read in the library world prompting me to stock up on Jorge Luis Borges and similar authors. I have yet to finish all of Euripides’ Plays, or Essays of the Masters. Best sellers do not prick my conscience anymore, although at one time I did struggle and snicker through Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. Also included in the “Duty” category are books for book discussions I will lead. I’ve gotten myself into another discussion for November, Mary Doria Russell’s Doc. That book is my next read, I promise.

There are a number of books I have purchased as a result of author appearances, usually autographed. A major source of these is the yearly IBAM (Irish Books, Art, and Music) fest at the Chicago Irish American Heritage Center. Still awaiting my attention are books by Anna McPartlin, Frank Delaney, and something written by a distant cousin of my husband.  The local bookstore lured me in to hear Frances McNamara and to purchase three of her mysteries. I really HAD to go to hear what one of the librarians at my alma mater, University of Chicago, had to say about her mysteries. One down and two more to go…

I don’t get many freebies but once a year I may receive a birthday book from my son and his family. It gives me great pleasure to have my ultra-liberal son and daughter-in-law purchase a Ronald Reagan biography, books by William F. Buckley, Jr. and titles in the math field—my son’s least favorite subject. Schadenfreude is alive and well in December!

The Just in Case pile contains all three volumes of Frederick Coplestone’s History of Philosophy, Charles Freeman’s Egypt, Greece, and Rome, The Trivium by Sister Miriam Joseph, and a beautiful book on chemistry, The Elements by Theodore Gray. These titles fit nicely with Intellectual Self-Improvement materials like The Essential Russell Kirk and the Atlantic Monthly’s American Idea.  I think I must give up on reading George Santayana, but I burn the candle of good intentions for José Ortega y Gasset and Claude Levi-Strauss.

Books that hold high interest because of my research preferences include the one’s I mentioned that I have just ordered that include Celtic from the West by scholars Barry Cunliffe and John T. Koch who suggest a new cultural model for post-Iron Age Gaelic peoples.  Jack Weatherford’s The Secret History of the Mongol Queens promises to revive an old interest in Genghis Khan that began with James Chambers’ wonderful The Devil’s Horsemen. Whenever I pass it my gaze turns lovingly to Samuel Noah Kramer’s The Sumerians: Their History, Culture and Character. Ancient history and language are interests that have languished too long.

Active research and interest areas include the history of science and mathematics. I just purchased Professor Stewart’s Hoard of Mathematical Treasures by a favorite, Ian Stewart. The Unfinished Game: Pascal, Fermat, and the Seventeenth-Century Letter that Made in World Modern by Keith Devlin promises to be a challenging and interesting read.  I have learned so much from G. E. R. Lloyd’s Early Greek Science: Thales to Aristotle and Greek Science after Aristotle. More recently John Freely opened my eyes to the accomplishments of Arabic Science when I read Aladdin’s Lamp. Since then I can’t get enough on the topic. I have begun, but have temporarily interrupted, the reading of the marvelous The House of Wisdom by Jim Al Khalili. After this book I have Ehsan Masood’s Science and Islam: a History to add to my list.  Learning more about the history of science has become a labor of love. If only I remembered my Latin and French and could learn classical Greek and Arabic I’d be enrolled in a master’s program on this topic.

All work and no play would make Ettsme a very dull girl.  I love mysteries—mostly English and/or historical.  There are two boxes of mysteries to tempt me. I do save some of the paperbacks to take to California in the winter, but there are plenty others to go around.  The “problem” is that when I like what an author has written, I want to read all of his/her ouvre. Peter Tremayne’s latest Sister Fidelma mysteries arrive directly from England as soon as they go into paperback. I have almost every Appleby title by Michael Innes and the complete run of  Edmund Crispin’s Gervaise Fen books. I’m halfway through Michael Pearce’s A Dead Man in_____ series. I am working my way through Christopher Fowler’s Peculiar Crimes Unit Mystery series.  My favorite so far is The Water Room while The Victoria Vanishes awaits. There is nothing more relaxing than a good murder!

The Biblioracle’s dilemma speaks to many of us.  John Warner closes his piece with a quote by Franz Kafka:  “A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us.”  He describes the TBR book piles as “a whole bunch of axes behind glass, waiting to be broken in case of a soul emergency.”  I don’t see much point in hiding these treasures behind glass.  Their presence and lure are an Epicurean pleasure.  They are my hope, limited but unbounded. Do you have some reading to catch up on?  

Whyz-It?

Whyz-It we signed unto the No Call List, but we constantly get robot and live calls from politicians, survey companies, credit card scammers, etc.?  The Congress left a huge loophole in the law for non-profits and themselves, but recent calls are way beyond those two nuisances. We are inundated with these annoying “I’m sorry for the intrusion, but,” “There is nothing wrong with your credit card…,” and “Congratulations! Don’t’ hang up the phone” interruptions morning, noon and night.  We pay for our telephone. It is for our safety and convenience. It is NOT a marketing opportunity for anyone. STOP IT.

Whyz-It many household appliances, like refrigerators and washing machines, seem to be designed by young men who saved all their dirty clothes to take home for mom to wash? I have a washing machine that will not allow me to place the detergent bottle, or anything else, on the top without tipping because there is no single level surface available. I have a new refrigerator that came with no storage bins and that freezes all foods at the back of the shelves while keeping the overall temperature just above safe. Most new dryers come with the lint screen on the top so you can cover freshly dried, folded clothes with lint when you pull out the screen to clear for the next load. SMART.

Whyz-It healthy food, i.e. less sodium, low fat, etc., costs more than junk varieties?  If the manufacturer [Think about that word when discussing food…] is using less and/or processing less why are they charging more?  Of course they pat themselves on the media facing shoulder for offering healthier choices, who are they kidding?  I imagine they are LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK..

Whyz-It a college’s responsibility when incoming students are below par in basic university level skills like math and writing?  Acceptance standards are flaunted; proficiency debased; outcome expectations lowered. Today’s university must include remedial coursework for an increasing number of freshmen  If a student wants to pursue a college degree, it should be that student’s responsibility to be prepared, not the university’s.  A standard core of knowledge is no longer expected of students; getting a paying customer in and out in a shorter period of time seems to be the goal. Lowered expectations smack of greed—more students, however unprepared, mean more money.  The university insults its students when standards are lowered. The value of a college education becomes debased. Today’s student populations are as capable as those who have matriculated before them. High schools must commit to graduating individuals who are fully prepared to pursue higher education; students must earn skills proficiency the old fashioned way, taking personal responsibility and doing whatever work it takes; colleges shouldn’t cheapen educational attainment in favor of profitability. BE TOO PROUD TO ACCEPT LESS. 

Whyz-It that people blithely accepted design features because “that’s all they’re making now?” In recent years bedding manufacturers dictate how we should sleep. Box springs are functionally useless; top mattresses are too heavy to change the sheets without putting your back out and are not fully reversible. Sofa cushions are not reversible either--your mattress or sofa might last a few years longer. Automobile designers show a real commitment to energy conservation when they require that you start the car to raise or lower your windows!  WASTE AND STUPIDITY WITH A SMILE

Whyz-It that, if something’s too hard to enforce it follows that it should be legalized?  Just because “everyone” does it, doesn’t make it right.  [Incidentally, “everyone” doesn’t do it.] What has happened to morality?  Have values become completely relative because “different strokes for different folks” has replaced conscience?  Since when does democracy mean the tyranny of the minority?  CAN FAIRNESS GO TOO FAR?

What’s your Whyz-It?